


Derek Hale and the Case of the Missing Dick

by teenwolfcrackfic



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Body Modification, Body Worship, Boyfriends, Crack, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Mutilation, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 20:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2241639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenwolfcrackfic/pseuds/teenwolfcrackfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles was a sneaky bastard who was the master of sneakiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Derek Hale and the Case of the Missing Dick

**Author's Note:**

> I saw [this](https://twitter.com/badmcrfics/status/471199130333618176) and felt inspired.

Stiles was a sneaky bastard who was the master of sneakiness. He had been dating the sour wolf from beacon hills for a year and he got an awesome idea. hm. Derek almost cut his arm off once and he said it would regrow... So what if I cut off his dick... It's such a beautiful dick... Stiles waited until Derek was asleep before he put him in a magic trance (he was an emissary you know?) and got to work!  
In the morning Derek woke up and went to take a piss and noticed something unusual. His dick was now longer than before. He looked at it closer and cried. Stiles came running to him really worried and Derek cried because he was sad. Stiles was all "What is wrong my werebabe?" He asked with concern and Derek sniffled and pointed to his dick. "Mr Spotty is missing!"  
Stiles looked at him funny and was all "Mr Spotty?" And Derek was all "Yes he's my freckle. My favorite penis freckle. He's missing!" And Stiles rubbed the back of his head and Derek was like "What?" And Stiles was like "Maybe I kind of stole your dick last night when you were asleep?"  
Derek let out a sad cry and sobbed "How could you?!!" And stiles said "I couldn't help myself it was just so beautiful." 

So then Derek forgave Stiles and they made sexy for like 12 hours and it was nice.

**Author's Note:**

> As you've probably noticed, this is a crackfic account and nothing here is to be taken seriously.  
> Feel free to leave me prompts or suggestions at stilesderekfanfic@aol.com or on [tumblr](http://teenwolfcrackfic.tumblr.com).  
> Despite what the email address might imply, prompts are open for all characters and ships :]  
> 


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